It's my life, so shut up

Compare

2010-04-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

Comparisons are easily done, once you've had a taste of perfection- 'Thinking of you" by Katy Perry

Quiet Time

2010-04-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

People nowadays give up on relationships too readily, especially gay men. It is so easy for us to walk away from the ones we're with just because things get a little rocky

Relationships aren't suppose to be easy.

German Hall of Fame, Walhalla

2010-04-09T10:25:00.000-07:00

I like how this place looks. It is looks so Greek like, serene and best of all, it overlooks the Danube River. I miss this place.

Schwer

2010-04-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

How do you tell yourself to not think about something but it constantly appears in your mind? It is as simple as saying no to yourself?

There are some thoughts that I'd like to put it at the back of my mind but I am just finding it hard to do it.

To You

2010-04-08T09:02:00.001-07:00

You'll finally find you and I collide

Q

2010-04-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

Life is about waiting for the right moment to act

Life Quote

2010-04-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

There are only 2 things you have to do in life. You have to die and you have to live until you die

Quotes

2010-03-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

From now on, I will be putting in quotes or phrases (whatever) that attracts my attention. The title of these posts are gonna have the word quote in it.

And so this is my most recent and favourite quote of the week:-

Children do not have trouble getting along. It’s when they lose their innocence and become corrupted by adult prejudices that they start being racist

From a Malaysian newspaper (I edited some words in the quote), The Star

Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart

2010-02-22T22:31:00.000-08:00

This is one of the songs which I am addicted to right now. She is too damn good, keeps making good music and am constantly addicted to her.

Empire State of Mind is another great song which I am addicted to as well.

Here's the song for 'Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart'

Enjoy!

Penang Charm

2010-02-20T07:59:00.001-08:00

I was in Penang the whole of last week and got back to Singapore today.

Penang has never failed to make me fall out of love with it. I am already missing it.

My time in Penang was great, I met all or most of my family members and also got to know that I have like so many more cousins which I never knew existed.

After my dad's passing, everyone has been so supportive and is always asking if everything is fine. There were a few quarrels (It's common in my family) but all is well, I guess.

I was supposed to do some studying today but I did not. My finals is in 2 days time and I have yet to open up the book.

I procrastinated long enough cos I was suppose to fly back to Singapore on Tuesday but instead I came back today with a 10 hour long journey. It was worth it....

I miss my beloved Penang.

I'm Alive

2010-02-12T08:42:00.000-08:00

Well I am writing again. Lots of things happened to me.

My father died, I completed my internship, I was hospitalized etc but I am trying not to think about the bad things.

Anyways I am going back to Penang in a few hours time!

I have actually sort of given up writing on this blog but I just randomly accessed it and someone in Chinese characters wrote saying that he liked my blog. Thank you so much! It gave me the will to write more rubbish haha.

Well this Valentines Day, is also Chinese New Year. It is the time where everyone wears new clothes and children get red packets and stuff. I enjoy it and celebrate it of course cos most of my family members are Chinese.

Well I am graduating soon and I totally need a job. It's so hard as a foreigner to get a job here. If only I am treated fairly.

Quelqu'un M'a Dit

2009-12-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

On me dit que nos vies ne valent pas grand chose,
Elles passent en un instant comme fanent les roses.
On me dit que le temps qui glisse est un salaud que de nos chagrins il s'en fait des manteaux

Secret Wish

2009-11-26T07:40:00.000-08:00

As selfish as I might sound, sometimes when I'm on the plane, I wish that it would crash or explode etc and I die in it instantly

I'm Coming Home!

2009-09-03T00:51:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna be back in Penang very soon! I'm so excited and everything. Oh the beach and stuff. I miss home and the people and the food.

This time I am gonna be home for a much longer time! I got an internship placement there so I'll be in Penang for 3 months! Wohoooo

Fragen ueber Liebe

2009-08-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

Was ist liebe?

Warum suchen wir immer auf liebe?

Warum sagen wir "Ich liebe dich" obwohl manchmal das nicht wahr ist?

Sind mensch immer so liebe suechtig?

Kann man ohne liebe leben?

Brauchen wir eigentlich liebe?

Warum suche ich auf liebe? Der suche nach liebe ist immer so schwer und kompliziert. Warum ist liebe so schwer zu finden?

Ich verstehe ueberhaupt nicht aber ich weiss das ich suche immer noch auf liebe.

Christian The Lion

2009-08-28T05:26:00.000-07:00

I've always found this clip so beautiful

Finals

2009-08-21T11:42:00.000-07:00

I'm having my finals right now until next friday, totally crucial. I really hope I pass everything. This time I will be contented with just a pass for all of my subjects.

Good luck to me

Threesome

2009-08-18T10:11:00.000-07:00

I watched a movie and I think it's really worth watching. I think films that are not so commercialized or non-Hollywood films are worth watching cos they take on a different perspective.

The title is called Threesome.

It's about 3 roommates. Eddy and Stuart share two-thirds of a dormitory suite. Due to bureaucratic error, a woman named Alex is added to their room. At first, relations among the three are tense. Soon, however, Alex falls for Eddy, and Stuart lusts after Alex. Eddy comes to realize not only that he's gay, but that he's attracted to Stuart. The three pledge not to act on any romantic (or lustful) feelings with each other, and become close friends . . . while bottling up a lot of sexual tension. Starring Lara Flynn Boyle, Josh Charles, and Stephen Baldwin.

Here's Part 2 cos part 1's audio has been removed due to copyright. The other parts are there.

These are the quotes which I really liked and noticed when I watched this film:-

"A man is happy when he has both work and love"

"It's kinda pointless isn't it? Putting on clothes when I just wanna take em off"

"I like females, but I just don't wanna have sex with them"

"I have nothing against homos. Look, you are what you are right?"

"How can I be tired of this sex thing if I haven't had any sex?"

"You're a closeted heterosexual!"

"2's a company, 3's pathetic"

"You just can't cut your pee pee off, you just can't let it run your life"

"Solitude brought out the worst in me, it gave me time to brute over the nature of things"

"I wonder how some people can be such a necessary part of one's life one day and simply vanish the next. Isn't it suppose to last?"

"My college experience wasn't what I planned, it bore no resemblance to the pictures on the brochure"

"It's kinda like when you go on a vacation, you plan everything out, but then one day you make a wrong turn or take a detour and you end up in some crazy place you can't even find on the map, doing something you'll never thought you'd do. Maybe you feel a little lost for what's happening but later you realise that it's the best part of the whole trip."

Different

2009-08-18T09:26:00.000-07:00

This is about how the world is gonna be like when it's the extreme opposite. Everyday hundreds or thousands of homosexuals face discrimination, they are being beaten, insulted, shunned by society, killed or in certain cases, are facing a death sentence just because they are homosexuals which carries a death penalty in their country.

Homosexuals exist since like forever and just because we are minorities, we should not be discriminated, put yourself in his/her shoes before doing anything bad to him/her cos if you were different, you would not want the same thing to happen to you if you were to be a minority. Be civilised!

The title of this short film is Different and it is the winner of the Grand Jury Prize for Student Film in the 2004 edition of the Rhode Island Film Festival.

Enjoy

LAME

2009-08-17T06:35:00.000-07:00

I read this news on fridae.com:-

Malaysian doctor links masturbation and gay sex to H1N1 flu

by News Editor

When asked to clarify, Malaysia’s Health Ministry Director General refused to comment on the accuracy of the news report carried by the government's official news agency Bernama News which reported that while heterosexual sex acts are safe, masturbation and homosexual activities could make one susceptible to the H1N1 virus.

Malaysia’s state-run Bernama News reported last week that “avoiding masturbation and homosexual activities are among preventive measures one could take against Influenza A (H1N1).”

The report quoted “an eminent practitioner of complimentary therapy” Dr. V. M. Palaniappan, the author of several books including 'Ecological Healing System'. Dr Palaniappan is reportedly a former associate professor of ecology at Universiti Malaya.

Quoting Dr Palaniappan, the news report goes on to explain that masturbation and homosexual activities causes the body to “develop friction heat which in turn, produced acid and made the body hyperacidised.”

"Thus, the body becomes an easy target for H1N1 infection," he told Bernama, emphasising however, that normal sexual union between members of the opposite sex was absolutely safe.

He also recommends the consumption of alkaline food and drinks such as coconut water that could neutralise excess acid in the body and could be used as an herbal medicine for the prevention of H1N1.

The report did not contain any other information about the H1N1 virus or other precautions to minimise the risks of contracting the virus.

Several days later, when asked to comment about the accuracy of the report in Bernama News, Health Ministry Director General Tan Sri Dr Ismail Merican reportedly refused to comment on the article.

Ismail told the reporter from The Sun: “That is an article. If you read an article and you digest it, whether you believe it or not, it’s up to you. There was no mention of the ministry of health. I wouldn’t want to comment on that article. Pandai-pandailah (use your discretion)."

What a fucking lame piece of thing. He must be mentally unsound or something. So much anger

Here's the link

Fleisch? Isst doch mal!

2009-08-14T11:19:00.000-07:00

People ask me when don't I eat pork although I am not a Muslim. It's easy, I have a lot of Muslim friends when I grow up so generally, I do not eat pork. Even when I grew up I generally do not choose it as my choice of meat. Unless I do not know that it was or in rare occasions I eat it knowingly.

But when I travel, I do not care what meat am I eat, as long as it looks normal and smells normal, I'll eat it cos as I aspire to be a globe trekker, I should not be so choosy. Probably that's why I have eaten meat that I do not know that could be eaten. So far, I've eaten horse meat, horse sausages and dog sausages. I ate those horse meat stuff knowingly and I do not have other choice cos I was sort of forced fed to eat it. It was back in Germany and I really HAD to eat it cos it's specially cooked for me. It tastes like beef but the texture is wayyyyyyyy tougher.

This year I ate dog sausage, this was the weirdest feeling ever. I did not know that it was dog sausage at all or thought that dog sausages even exist. I was in Vietnam, and was hungry so I decided to be adventurous and have some street food cos the past 5 days there I have been dining in restaurants which is not good cos I was on a backpacking trip and I already broke so many backpacking rules by staying in a hotel, dining in restaurants the whole time, etc (I had food poisoning on the day that I was suppose to fly to Vietnam from Laos). As I was walking I saw sausages being grill, I was like great! Something which is a safe bet. Bought it and 1st bite was, "Hey, I think this sausage taste weird, probably it's a Vietnamese style preparation or something" I passed it to my friend for him to try and he took a bite. He said "Somehow, I am weirdly sure that this is dog sausage" I was almost going crazy.

Dog meat? Can you believe it? Those little doggies and not to mention I love dogs. Every time when I think back I feel disgusted.

Although I hate to admit it, somehow I feel that when they say that every which moves, you can eat it (I am actually closing my eyes, feeling disgusted right now).

I'll stick to chicken, beef and fish for now as my choice of meat :)

Names and Labels

2009-08-13T12:33:00.000-07:00

I bet in the course of our lives, we have given or called someone names. Sometimes it's really just a friendly thing, it could be a name or pet name that you give to your loved ones, a nasty name, etc. We, unknowingly have being called names as well.

Recently I realise that I AM the bitch who I turned out to be, like a nasty one. I give people nicknames based on the way they look, dresses or act. But who am I to blame? I'm just a gay boy and I did not mean it when I give names and people start to use it on that person. Well eventually it dies down. I feel guilty.

BUT I did give names to my good/close friends as well, something nice or to remember us. It's a good kind of name which probably began with something nasty at 1st. I myself have several names that people give me like my housemate calls me weird names which do not play any significant role as well, or G, a friend of mine since like forever, like more than 10 years have a name for me, etc.

Well yes it could be nasty but it's a way for me to remember people. At least it's good that I do not give names to my friends.

Right now I give names only to my lecturers, tutors or all those people who prowl the bars and clubs that I go to. My housemate and friends know bout the nickname cos it's either those people have affected our lives in a bad way or we are disgusted by their actions. Imagine, a guy crying in a bar just to gain attention from everyone, pathetic isn't it? And mind you, he's 30+ years old or late 20's, we do not need such drama. But then again it's a gay bar, it's suppose to be dramatic. Everyone's a drama queen sometimes.

A very good friend of mine, which we tell people that we are brothers and share the same mom, has a label stuck on him. Everyone thinks that he's a slut and he sleeps around and blah blah blah. I find it irritating when people tell me "Hey don't talk to that guy, he's gonna sleep with you, then leave you." It's either that or they tell me, your boyfriend is a slut. Whatever..... Who knows him better? You or me? I know his background and everything. Honestly, I don't find it a problem, him sleeping around or whatsoever because he's single and not seeing anyone, it does not make him any less of a human. In fact I know several people who sleeps around when they are single and be loyal when they are attached. As long as whatever they do does not affect me. That said, it also does not mean that I sleep around when I am single because I find it disgusting, it's a personal thing.

I bet I have several labels myself especially in this place that I am studying. I've being labeled gay boy, fag, druggie, stuck up boy, boy with the funny accent, boy who does not speak Mandarin, Malaysian boy, basically anything that you can think of. The label druggie came because people know that I know where to get drugs, but it still doesn't mean that I use em because I despise drugs.

But I guess it's just part of growing up and living in this so very dramatic world. Everyone's dramatic in a way or another. As bitchy as I may sound, some people actually deserve those names or labels.

Currently my favourite is prawns. They are the who have a really good body (washboard abs, nice pecs, etc) but a fail face but they are oh-so arrogant thinking that 'I-am-so-hot-cos-my-body's-so-great' who loves dancing shirtless in clubs.

Why do I call them prawns? Easy, when you eat prawns, you remove the head and enjoy the body right? Same goes for these people, cover the head, and enjoy the body.

Basically I'm more attracted to what's in his head rather than his physique.

Updates

2009-08-12T09:50:00.001-07:00

I'm gonna be in Penang from September till November, approx 3 month. I'll be performing my internship there as I got a placement. It's near the airport or rather in the airport, so say hi.

While there, there'll be 2 weekends that I'll be gone in October. Weekend 1 to Kuala Lumpur and Weekend 2 to Singapore just cos I know that I'll miss the gayness at some point.

Exams next week, I have to study. The question is always: How to get me started?

After the exams, a few days before flying to Penang, I'd love to fly to Bali but as I was on my way back, I was thinking to myself, if I want to buy my own place in 4 or 5 years time, I need to freaking save up although it's just a few hundred dollars. How can I get at least a million dollars?

Anyways it's the weekend soon and a girl friend of mine is visiting and another girl friend of mine is celebrating her birthday on the same day. How lesbianic of them.

I want a nice clean beach holiday, I need it

Great Quote From A Movie

2009-07-31T10:54:00.000-07:00

Diamonds are not a girl's best friend but gay guys are girl's best friend

:)

I'm Fine

2009-07-18T01:16:00.000-07:00

I'm ok :) I think it was just the side effects of my medications

And

2009-07-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

I know there is a problem with my health, I'm just too afraid to find it out. It's not sexual so don't worry

It happened twice already, I hope tomorrow it will not happen again

New Interest

2009-07-17T03:08:00.000-07:00

Recently I have developed a new interest in watching GLBT themed films and I realised that I could learn so much more compared to watching Hollywood made films which do not really open my eyes or make me feel like I have learned something.

So I was watching a trailer of a Singaporean gay film called Rice Rhapsody, and I fell in love with this quote:-

"Life first, everything else second"

Prahara Cinta

2009-07-16T12:28:00.000-07:00

I got this song from the movie Arisan which is an Indonesian gay movie about a gay guy who is afraid to admit that he is gay and his psychologist set him up with this guy whom he really likes and the rest is history but with a little drama from family and friends. I like the song a lot.

Here are the lyrics, the name of the song is Prahara Cinta:-

Pertama kali berjumpa denganmu kekasihku

Dunia seolah kan runtuh

Makankupun tak enak

Tidurkupun tiada nyenyak

Selalu teringat oh..dirimu..

Inikah oh..namanya insan sedang jatuh cinta

Mengapa..semua begitu indah dilihat

Begitu sedap dipandang

Seolah kuingin slalu tersenyum

Tapi ah..aku malu padamu

Aku malu..aku malu..aku malu..

Tiap kata kau ucapkan terasa indah saja

Selalu teringat dan tak lupa

Kau katakan kau sayang pada diri, kekasihku

Masih banyak lagi rayuanmu..

68 Pages

2009-07-16T09:42:00.001-07:00

Dilemma

2009-07-14T11:24:00.000-07:00

What would you do if you know this girl who is married to this guy and she is in love with him and he is marrying her just for the sake of it and he left me to marry her. Would you tell her about it? Or just pretend everything is fine

Smile :)

2009-07-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

Even if it's gonna kills me, I'm gonna keep on smiling :)

Smile :)<- Click on it

Argh

2009-07-09T22:22:00.000-07:00

Weather is being a bitch the past few days. It's either mildly cold or extremely hot. It is not good for my illness.

I have been sick since monday, started with sore throat and now with like runny nose flu-ish feeling, feeling tired all the time. I hope it's not swine flu cos I am yet to see the doc as I dislike doctors over here

Hope Not

2009-07-07T09:44:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am cheating my insurance but my parents explained to me that it was my right to get the money cos it really did happen and it is a separate incident.

I don't wanna get sued

Maybe if the insurance tell me that I should not use it, I would pay the insurance back.

Bar-scandal

2009-07-06T10:50:00.000-07:00

Scandal anyone?

Au Natural

2009-07-06T09:38:00.000-07:00

I love all this leave folding flower things that they use for prayers, aren't they cute?
(Laos)

Nam Khan River that splits Luang Prabang into 2, something like Penang
(Laos)

Beautiful Viet roses and Lilies. Lily is the national flower of Vietnam
(Vietnam)

Luang Prabang

2009-07-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

Mekong River

Mysterious looking bug

Colourful umbrellas

I miss Luang Prabang the most out of all the places in Laos. It's such a beautiful place. I'd visit it again. Khob chai lai lai Laos

A toast

2009-07-03T09:41:00.001-07:00

In the face of true love you don't just give up, even if the object of your affection is begging you to

Hilarious

2009-07-03T08:58:00.000-07:00

Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here

Rhyme

2009-07-02T10:27:00.001-07:00

I've always liked this tagline "Seoul, soul of Asia"

It makes me smile cos it rhymes so well

Truth?

2009-07-02T10:09:00.000-07:00

All those beautiful young people are not interested in you, they are just interested in themselves

What do you think?

My Newest

2009-06-29T22:27:00.000-07:00

From the last pair of shoes which I have posted, I bought 3 more pairs of shoes and returned 1 pair cos there were defects and they do not have the colour which I wanted anymore. During the weekend I bought myself a new pair of shoes from Zara. I love it.

I love shoes

Back of My Head

2009-06-25T22:32:00.000-07:00

Recently I found something, perhaps a habit or a memory which I have probably put it away for a very long time, it is actually something positive but I just forgot bout it, completely.

Recently I met a friend and showed him around Singapore, he told me I come across as an unhappy person, pessimist and skeptic. I refuse to admit at 1st but then I realise, yes I have changed into those 3 things which I just said and I hate it, maybe that's why I hate being here thinking that this place actually changed me into someone who I do not want to be.

The truth is just that I changed and I blame it on the place which I am living. I was too unhappy that I became something which I do not even like it, which adds on to my unhappiness.

It made me wonder, what happened to the old me which was very much myself? Maybe I just threw him to the back of my head and locked him up.

At that point I realise that I have found the source of my unhappiness, which is rejecting the place that I am in for what it is and thinking that I do not belong here. Just to sum it all up, previously I just hate this place and hate myself for being in this place. Which is probably why I am so unhappy.

Let's face it, I will not get everything I want but I have to live with it. It all brings me back to when I first went over to Germany, where I hated everything and rejected everything. I even refused to speak German to anyone. Life was miserable at that point, probably the lowest but I manage to tell myself, "Live with it, something great might happen"

I realise that what made me go on each day, being happier or accepting and started to immerse into the culture was waking up everyday telling myself, "Today is gonna be a great/good/wonderful day"

It actually works and from Sunday onwards, I've been telling myself every single time I wake up, embracing the new day by saying "Today is gonna be a great/good/wonderful day"

I am a much happier person now, I missed me (What a weird thing to say)

A Brief

2009-06-16T12:21:00.000-07:00

Just some updates:-

I was in Laos and Vietnam. Did not make it to Thailand due to the protest, how fucked up can it be? I was really looking forward to Thailand, not to mention the shags and shopping.

Laos was great, Luang Prabang, a UNESCO heritage site was superb, gay and expensive (not surprised cos whatever that rhymes with gays, should be expensive, don't you think so?)

Vang Vieng was insanely full of party goers, straight of course, how boring.

Vientiane was not too bad, befriended with a courtesan (I only use that word when I respect a person of that profession) she was nice, told me a lot of stories and her very sad past and experiences. Can't exactly understand her English but it was nonetheless nice to get to know her. She could straight away tell that I was gay, she should be some faghag or whatever

Vietnam, hmmm just 1 word would sum up what I feel bout it:- Suckballs. Need explanation?

After the backpacking trip, I went back to Penang twice actually, for my grandma's 80th birthday and for my holidays of 10 days.

I'm back in Stressapore, I mean Singapore. I am cool with Singapore and respect it but the people, don't let me get to that.

Well I miss the beach, I need a quiet getaway. Phuket sounds tempting, no? Well it's kinda crowded there. Mauritius have to wait for some time, lack of vitamin M

Makes Me Laugh

2009-06-02T09:16:00.001-07:00

Every time when I am in need of a laugh, this video would make me laugh

So Close

2009-06-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

This song was introduced to me by my housemate, he knows that it relates to me really well.

Guess what?

He's correct, it relates REALLY well to me

Roadtrip by Darin Zanyar, runner up for Swedish Idol

Something From TV

2009-05-31T03:22:00.000-07:00

Loving someone is not the same as knowing them

If you ever do drugs, do it with your friends because they are the only ones who really gives a fuck about you

Yearning is wanting something so bad that it hurts

That's a lot of things we do not know about each other

Don't ask "Are you?" because it's never a question. Just say "I know"

People are what they are

Ponder

2009-05-31T03:06:00.000-07:00

Why do I always give my heart away to trash?

Make A Stand

2009-05-30T04:12:00.000-07:00

To everyone who reads this blog, please view this video and to fellow Americans, everyone is equal.

NOH8

Meaningful

2009-05-21T00:10:00.000-07:00

When you love someone, you will not walk away from your partner when there is a problem but you will try to solve the problem with you partner- My housemate

Savour the relationship

Really?

2009-05-20T19:37:00.000-07:00

They say "When life tries to fuck with you, you should fuck it right back."

My question is: How?

So Tell Me

2009-05-20T19:31:00.000-07:00

If only love is as simple and as perfect as love songs portray it

Knick Knacks

2009-03-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

I am already back in Penang since 12th of March. I did this and that and this and that but it was all nice cos I am doing it with my family members and close friends.

Wonderful apartment stay with Joel and the girls, Earth Hour with family, breakfast with Ga, AFS dinner with Az and Yna, many more.

The bad thing is that I have been sleeping at 3 or 4 or even 5 am every single day or no sleep at all.

Oh the food, the sea, the beach and the people. Such a wonderful place. It is my little heaven and also hell, happiness and also sadness, insanity and also sanity haha.

Lately the weather is being a bitch......

Collide

2009-03-29T13:12:00.000-07:00

I was in the car to Gurney Plaza, as usual I am sitting at the back seat. Just doing my usual things, staring out of the window to enjoy my ride.

I noticed someone, which is rare cos I don't look at people unless they look familiar. This guy caught my attention cos he was walking the opposite direction and he has been staring at me the whole time, so I stared back and our eyes locked for that 5 seconds...... I know if I was walking and alone, we would start talking. When my eyes met his, I smiled, I do not know why, but I smiled, so did he but then he saw that my parents was in the car, he just continue staring.

All I know is that he is wearing a black shirt and black pants and carrying a knapsack. I kept on thinking of him. This is somehow a very funny kind of attraction, cos I do not feel all sexual kind of attraction.

Well, I'll be leaving Penang on Wednesday morning, I am not exactly sure if I will see him again in my whole life, but I will hold on to this funny/weird memory. Maybe someday, maybe never, who knows?

Somehow I am missing Penang already....

Ewwzors

2009-03-15T01:57:00.000-07:00

I do not like the new facebook layout at all AND please stop raining and being so hot when it is not raining. Weather has been extreme and I do not wanna fall sick.

PS: I am back in Penang :)

You Cannot Love Me

2009-03-11T10:32:00.001-07:00

No, you are not allowed to love me. I love you but it will not happen.

Lots of love

Cos I'm Leaving.....

2009-03-11T10:29:00.000-07:00

So I will be flying back to Penang :) I am so happy. Oh my home sweet home. Amidst all of the shit that is happening in my country, I still think that my country is very much well off than most countries and I will always be proud of my country (Do I sound like a nationalist? :P)

My exam results are out today. It is not that good but I am just happy to pass due the the reason that I was having so much stress with housing and I did not have time to study.

So this is my results:

Managerial Accounting and Finance- C+
Communication Skills 2 (Middle Eastern Business Etiquette)- B+
Distribution Center Management- B
Materials Management- C+
Understanding Theatre- B

Well grades are not good but I am contented :)

I'll be heading off to my backpacking trip on the 1st of April. Can't wait, hope everything goes well

Memories

2009-03-11T09:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever found your really old diary that reminds you of what you've done and stuff?

Well I was trying to find a book to write and I stumbled upon my diary when I was in Germany. I couldn't resist but to open and read it. I read the whole thing. I have to admit, I regretted not writing much but most of the things which I wrote brings back such strong memories and I was stunned for like a long time after finish reading it.

I am not a good writer and I am not the person who likes to write but I like to scribble haha. I wrote every single crap that happened. Note, only crap which means all those ups and downs. I still remember that I have an old blog which is like sort of my coming out blog. It is so gay and shit haha.

Personally, I think when we read back bout stuff, bad or good, happy or sad, we cherished the moment and it gives a strong impact on us in one way or the other.

Imagine me reading the diary again when I am 30 years old, I think I would be full of tears

Full of Bullocks

2009-02-17T00:18:00.000-08:00

Have you ever like asked someone for help and they gave the craziest reasons for not helping you? Recently I am on the verge on being homeless and desperately looking for a room to rent, and people are giving thousand and 1 reasons for not helping and shit.

So today I got irritated and frustrated and just told someone off, if you would like to help, help, if not, please do not gimme so many reasons for not helping. It is totally not appreciated. Already I am facing the stress of exams and searching for new housing due to the reason that I have to move out after exams, I do not need to listen to your unnecessary crap of why not helping me because of high electricity bills, petrol prices hike and shit.

Hello? Read the newspapers, petrol prices are so fucking low, you can practically drink it and government is gonna lower the electricity tariffs. Yeah wanna leech off a poor student right now and when the rental market slumps in June or July and I will still be paying some high end price due to the 1 year contract? Go fug yourself......

I appreciate everyone who have helped me without asking or giving shitty reasons. Thank you you guys.

If you were to ask me for help, I just either say yes or sorry I can't cos (state 1 reason) that's all but I'll try my best if I can. I do not like running around the block and be back at square one, this is not a fitness contest.

I still feel that being straight forward is one of the best policies. Maybe that's why there are so many sly people over here. Surprise, surprise....... so much for advertising, living in Singapore is affordable with a friendly environment, yeah if your parents owns Walmart or McDonalds or some shit and you feed those people money to be friendly to you. I feel like puking on someone's face.....

Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T10:46:00.000-08:00

Yeah yeah all the commercials and stuff. I do not really understand, why 99 roses?

Anyways, happy valentine's day to everyone. How did you spent yours?

Mine was pathetic but at least I am not depressed.

Here's what I did on Valentine's Day:

I went to the Government Housing Department to inquire about the place that I am moving cos there have been too much lies and unpaid bills by the person who was suppose to pay that. Time spent there? 3 hours. 2 hours for waiting and 1 hour debating with the officer. Suck ass

Then I spent the whole day just making calls to housing agents, although I always hope it would not be a housing agent but it sucks. I don't like a lot of them cos they are slys and stuff. Totally hiked up price and shit.

So now I have an appeal to everyone out there in Singapore. If you guys have any rooms or know of any rooms that are to let please, please please, please help me. I totally need your help and my budget is not high due to recessions and stuff. I'd pay a higher rent when I work in future, promise. Love you guys :)

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Kisses,
MM

Internet Religion

2009-02-09T09:56:00.000-08:00

My sleeping patterns are really bad, I would tell myself that I would wanna sleep at 11pm tonight, I would end up sleeping at 3am or something.

I blame this thing to the internet. 80% of the time I would be on Facebook, 15% on wikipedia and google after reading newspapers and 5% reading blogs. I think internet took my sleep away, I am like addicted to internet. When I did not have internet, I used to sleep at 9pm but now.....OMG

Maybe it is because I am using the laptop and internet more for my school stuff....

How to gain a good sleeping pattern? Maybe I need an alarm clock that rings every time it is time for me to stop, I seriously need this. I need to be discipline!

I have an interview role play in a few hours time and I am not even prepared, well I will just answer whatever the tutor asks. I hate applying for fantasy jobs (Not that I have actually applied for a job before) It is gonna be a group interview, I hope I get the 'job', wish me luck!

I'm Done With This

2009-02-07T10:36:00.000-08:00

I have not been blogging for a very long time for several reasons:-

I have been having a lot of things in my mind.

I have been too lazy to write anything cos I do not know which to write 1st.

I have a feeling that the readership for this blog is rather low due to the lack of comments and everything.

So what about the title?

Well I went out today, just got home. It's 2.40 am now.

I have a feeling that maybe I have given up on love.

Men are pigs, gay men are even worst, more promiscuous, as a gay person I know more. I guess when I read the report, it is true that only 10% of the gay men are actually looking to have a real relationship and are able to sustain and maintain a relationship. The other 90% are just fucking around like pigs and dogs and are just looking out for their personal interest. Maybe I might just die alone or something. I am in the 10% but 10% isn't a lot, considering that 10% of men in this world are gay and the 10% of that 10% which makes it only 1% or rather 1 out of a 100 possibility that you can find a man who is gay AND monogamous. Get the equation?

So why am I writing this? I just experienced it, saw it with my very own eyes. That was why in the 1st place I refuse to go to the gay scene until today cos I wanted to give a friend a surprise.

What the heck? I am so confused right now and a million thoughts are racing through my mind.

I am actually listening to Soulmate by Natasha Bedingfield. It explains everything, somewhat.

Who doesn't long for someone to hold? Who knows how to love you, without being told.

But the ultimate question is: What is love? Different people have different definitions of it, life is so funny. It keeps me wondering....... everyday

Is there really a soulmate for everyone?

Predictions of Nostradamus

2009-01-16T08:32:00.000-08:00

I recently was told about the predictions of this man called Nostradamus. I got so curious about it so I watched the documentary.

To be really honest, I am kind of scared and shocked and all those feelings. I have a slight feeling that his predictions are true and that 2012 might just be the last year or something. Part of me is still hoping very much that this prediction is not true.

It is also hard not to believe cos there were so many proves, and not to mention the Mayan Calendar ends at 2012. Mayans are really smart and highly intelligent people, not to mention very accurate in their predictions.

I am sitting here, freaking out and everything. IF 2012 were to really be the end of it all, I want to be with my families and also my closes friends.

I still have something that I would really want to have before the world ends, a lover, like someone who I love a lot and also loves me a lot.

I really hope the situation improves or else Nostradamus might just be correct, please please please be wrong....

So world leaders, why let religion, cultural and language differences become a conflict? Do we really need all these? We can really live together without all those crazy things that are happening now, we really can, if we want to. Like they say, journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

Please, if I have to plead or beg or do whatever to make all these crazy, selfish things to stop, I WILL for sure would.

Please stop the fighting, we are are only human after all......

This is the documentary on Nostradamus' predictions (via YouTube):-

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8

Train Ride (KUL-PEN) (Dec)

2009-01-08T04:15:00.001-08:00

So I took a train from Kuala Lumpur back to Penang.

It was not the original idea but I had to bring a new friend,D with me and he always wanted to take the train. He is American and kinda fun to be with. He is like a girl magnet or something cos almost every single girl wants to have a piece of his meat, ahem I mean be his friend.

So we left Kuala Lumpur with the train and D was very upset cos I booked economy class sleeper. I am very what the heck? You said ok to that and there was only economy left and he was like I was pissed drunk and blah blah. Exactly, pissed drunk!

In the train he was so worried and stuff cos he wanted a cabin all to ourselves and stuff. Just for some curious people, D is not gay or bi. Ok anyways we sat at the cafeteria and talked and watched movies on my laptop cos his died or something. So he kept on bugging the train conductor if there are any places in the train with cabins cos we could not book them and guess what D did? He gave him like RM50, read as bribe or whatever D wants to call it. The conductor was furious and pushed the money back. D was shocked and walked back to us and he asked " Why didn't the guy took it?" I am like, it's bribing, it's against the law. So he was like shocked cos he expected the guy to take the money.

So blah blah blah and D went to the cabin and he was just standing there and smoking then he saw this really huge dude who took the upper sleeper cos the lower ones were all fully booked fell down while he was trying to get up. He was like huge, Barney sort of huge is not huger. D was laughing and said it was hilarious and I though so too when D was like a little boy laughing and telling me all about it, so D's face changed and he was like screaming and stuff and he ran towards the train conductors and told them the guy is having a blackout or something cos he slammed his head on the door. D was so panicked and he made the little girl who had the lower berth change sleeper with that guy. Then the night was all done....

Middle of the night like at 2am, the conductor woke us up and told us they have a free cabin cos someone did not board the train, so we took the cabin, which has only 2 sleepers. I took the one above and D got the lower berth.

D could not sleep and he was talking the whole time in the cabin and I screamed, D u better shut up or else my sock will drop on you. He kept quiet and I slept, I dunno what he did.

So we reached our station but we were sleeping like a log and the conductor was banging on the door screaming, I woke up feeling groggy, opened the door and said ok. D was sleeping like some baby or something. So I was like wake up, D and screamed wake up!!! And he was like still not moving. The room was freaking dark cos D did something to it with the towels and blankets provided. So I smack D on the shoulder or something and he freaked out and woke up. We were like zombies walking out of the train and D had to bring that box of Dunkin' Donuts that we bought a few hours ago. He took a bite out of it and said it taste like crap and I said duh, you did not close the god damn box at all for the whole night....

So we took the ferry to the island. From the terminal, we parted....

Quite eventful, I would say

Home Sweet Home (Dec)

2009-01-08T04:14:00.001-08:00

I was home, a couple of weeks ago, it was happy, festive great food kinda of mood. I was fed very or rather too well every single day. Now I am missing home now.

I miss my friends and family

Pangkor Island (Dec)

2009-01-08T04:13:00.000-08:00

So finally I some found time to write all of my drafts.

I was in Pangkor Island for Christmas with my family, eve, the day itself and boxing day. It was like heaven on Earth or something. But there was some wrong with me. I got a little too naughty, explicitly but of course I did not do anything cos it is a family beach resort and to make matters worst it is private, so the only people there are the resort workers and the guests. Since it is family so there are loads of children screaming and stuff.

Guess who flirted with me?

Some say late 20s to early 30s girl. I could so see her hormones pumping from the way she walked, sat and stared at me. I was with my laptop being bored and waiting for the sun to get high so that I could get a nice tan, chatting with a nice friend and we said something funny so I smiled a little, as I was smiling, I looked up and saw her there. She might have thought I was smiling at her and she was smiling back. Then she walked around the foyer always passing by me. So I got irritated and looked up again and she winked at me. I was bored and wanted to have some childish fun so I smiled to her again and winked back. I was back to my laptop again and then I saw this like shadow near me so I looked up again and there she was still there, I was like ok I am getting bored darling. As she was smiling and doing whatever she does, her husband/boyfriend/whatever came, they went out to the town which is a taxi ride away(that is the only way you can get to the town from this resort) As they were walking, she looked back and gave me this wink. I was sitting down there and thinking, I thought loads of people told me that I looked 15 or 16? Haha I think she like em young, what a milf. One thing about her tho, she is one hot piece of meat, too bad I am not into girls.

I got a tan and I fell asleep under the sun so my tan is uneven and I got sun burned at 1 side. But it was great, private, quiet most of the times, VERY close to nature and was treating like a king.

Oh I miss Pangkor Island SO very much, my little paradise....

Ach ja!

2009-01-08T04:01:00.000-08:00

Ok I know I haven't blog recently, I got lazy and I was in a holiday. I will post about all of my trips and stuff that I have done and obviously all my misdemeanors

Anyways I wanted to post this 1st cos I wanna remind myself as I always forget bout my results before I tell my parents.

So I had 3 papers for my term test before the holidays and I got them back, sorta cos I haven't been entering class regularly (I will explain why in future posts) so my nice classmates checked it for me.

So this is what I got:-

Distribution Center Management- 31/40

Materials Management- 39/50

Managerial Accounting and Finance- 36/45

The tutor complained bout my results for Materials Management cos he was hoping I would get above 40, oh well I am quite contented with all of my results.

Hae!?

2008-12-12T12:16:00.000-08:00

I finished my exams and am packing my bags, gonna fly to Kuala Lumpur in a few hours time :)

Exams was ok I guess, I hope for the best.

Went to children's home after lunch and it was so touching, I like children cos I have a soft spot for them. I am gonna volunteer in this house after coming back.

Kuala Lumpur, here I come!

Who's in KL?

Exams, Holiday

2008-12-10T09:10:00.000-08:00

I am having my mid semester exams now and I am online blogging and doing whatever in facebook except studying.

It's 1.10 am in the morning, argh internet is ruling my life.

I can't wait for Saturday! I will be flying off to Kuala Lumpur for awhile, then off to home sweet home in Penang :)

What should I do in Kuala Lumpur? Where should I go? Will I meet someone? Who knows?

I will be taking this paper called Distribution Center Management, I know yawnnnn but it is part of my module. I have been staring at the same page for ages, totally boring kinda stuff and worst of all it's an online subject but it's an exam based subject. Triple killer, number 1 I could not rebothered to do my lecture online and number 2 when I do not attend lectures and do the tutorials I did not learn anything! Number 3! It's an exam based subject.

I will be spending Christmas at home, can't wait for the holidays. I wanna see all my family and friends, I miss them so much.

Will be flying back to Singapore on the 28th early in the morning..... See ya!

I Need Answers

2008-12-09T07:05:00.001-08:00

How do you know when you like someone?

Love kind of like but too early to be love and not some stupid crush.

And how do you know if that someone feels the same?

Foolish

2008-12-06T11:00:00.000-08:00

I should have went

I thought there wasn't anything when you stopped writing

I am foolish

I should have followed my heart

I would rewind time if I knew you were waiting for me and expecting to see me there

Replacement

2008-12-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel lonely over here, although I have friends but nothing beats family and close ol' friends.

There is this feeling that I miss the most, the homely feeling. But I have always had a solution, when I miss home so much, I'll just go to Ikea, it has so many things that makes me feel so connected, cos it focuses on home design and blah blah. I could just spend the whole day in Ikea, end up buying stuff I don't need BUT still feel happy.

I am not promoting Ikea but I just like Ikea.

I love the food there, it's kinda nice.

So today my classmates and I decided to go to Ikea for lunch, after lunch and all the talking we sort of raided Ikea, pretended like we are a family and we were trying out bedrooms and all those stuff.

I bought some stuff and chocolates, I wanted to buy the fish roe cream and crab cream or whatever it's called but I had to many bags to carry so I did not buy. I just ate the chocolates, it is great but I think I ate too much, this is what happens when I have chocolate, I will just eat it non stop cos my love for chocolate is quite strong ..

Thank godness I live quite near Ikea :)

Maniacs

2008-12-01T09:49:00.000-08:00

There are many reasons why I can't stand most males.

Chauvinists- This is self explanatory

Horny tarts, they do not even know my name or where I live or any other information, they started asking for sex and say they would like to give me pleasure. Do you even know what pleasure means to me? The answer is definitely not sex, I am not some typical horny ass male or homo.

One track mind/inflexible, totally can't stand it. Always thinking that the world is flat and not round........

Strong sense of competition, NOT everything is a competition! It is ok to loose or to be wrong at times, you are after all, human. If you loose or know that you are wrong, it is MANLY to apologize if you are wrong and congratulate the winner, not throwing tantrum like a little boy. Having that "thingy" dangling down there does not mean you have a gold medal hanging around your neck.

HUGE ego, can't stand it at all! I am not gonna stroke your ego everyday or every other day AND not gonna inflate it. Am also not gonna belittle myself to make you feel good. Insulting the other gender or other people is not gonna make u more superior, it makes you a loser!

Any stuff to add? Leave it in the comments section :)

Winner Loser

2008-12-01T08:07:00.000-08:00

So I met this guy with a friend. I totally knew it that this guy would like my friend more cos he is the typical gay guy in Asia, slim, young, short, hairless and etc. I am neither, except being a little on the short side and maybe young.

As usual I have no expectations, I just talked to this guy, seems like that guy and I talked a lot. But I knew that he was more interested in my friend. The way he looks at him and stuff, whatever...

So I told my friend, I bet he likes you a lot and he wants to date you and my friend told me yes. So I won a bet, but nothing and this guy was clearly not interested in my, I am not surprised....

2nd, another friend told me to add these 2 guys on facebook, so I told her that I bet they would accept me, at least one of them, cos I think of of the guys are hot but the one which I think is not hot added me, but I still won the bet. So bet 2, won.

Well I guess if I would like to stay in Asia and be in the gay world at the same time, I have to be slim and hairless aka smooth. I am neither so I am loosing out, sad huh? Well whatever, if it's gonna be that shallow, I am not gonna change it and I am not gonna change me.

Stereotypical life this world has. Whatever, world......

Random Crap

2008-11-30T10:31:00.000-08:00

Ok I think I am a person with bad thoughts.

I would make a good terrorist, if terrorism = bitching.

When I am having a violent persona on, I like to think of fire, I wanna burn my housemates! But of course I would never do those things.

Why am I writing this?

Well I am hyper at night, so that's why I think of these things.

I am afraid of fire.

I have thought of snipping this girls' hair off, maybe the fact that she hates me for no reason, she has not even spoken to me. She is just this witch girl. Recently she dyed her hair black, OMG witch-o-pedia.

Bitch gone now. POOF!

Blah

2008-11-30T09:37:00.000-08:00

Leave some comments on my posts!

I'm not gonna write you a love song

Found

2008-11-28T06:34:00.000-08:00

So my friends were in Singapore last weekend. They had to freshen up and deposit their bags. As they were doing whatever they were doing, I needed to grab a bottle of water, but after buying, I walked about the mall. I found this:

I had to have it, so I bought it instantly. It's from Vans and I am in love with it, but I wore it only once.

Visitors

2008-11-28T05:44:00.000-08:00

Some friends visited from Malaysia. We had to squeeze all of the plans in a very limited time.

Dramas are included, especially in Changi Airport where 2 of them were drooling on the stewards and stewardesses.

I was late at picking them up cos I thought they would reach later but luckily I manage to wake up and gave them a call, early in the morning.

We had less than 24 hours, but it was great...

Abrazame, por favor

2008-11-21T09:56:00.000-08:00

Besame mucho, como si fuera esta noche la ultima vez, que tengo miedo a pederte.

Quiero tenerte muy cerca, mirarme en tus ojos, verte junto a mi....

Estoy esperando por ti

New Fav

2008-11-21T09:16:00.000-08:00

I have a new favourite show, yes I do watch tv. It's Gossip Girl, who does not like it? It's so scandalous, feels a little bit like me but less erm hmmm I can't think what is less. Well all I know is that I did not kill anyone...

Anyways I like this character in this show. He's Chuck Bass, he turns me on, I mean like truely. He is so insultingly seductive. He is cold and all those bad boyfriend kind of guy but I think he is very attractive, I mean his character.

And this is my one of my favourite song of the whole show.

xoxo

French Fate

2008-11-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

So I was at a birthday party of a friend of mine, of which I have a crush on and we met in the bar a lot of months ago before my ex left me.

I do not know anyone there, I swear, except for the birthday boy.

I met some new people and stuff and it was nice, it was not a gay party tho but there but several over there.

So over the past week a friend of mine was asking me bout this French teacher in our school, if that teacher was gay cos I am very close to the French educators in my school, so when he mentioned the name I did not know cos the teacher was new, ok let's give this teacher a name, say N.

Anyways, I met N in the birthday partay. Through a guy which I randomly talked too who I have always thought he was hot and I have seen him a million times. Anyways N was there and I was told that he teaches in my school and stuff. So I confronted N, well I am sort of in luck, he is the French teacher, and I have seen him before too, a million times in the bar which I go to.

Coincident? I don't think so, Singapore is tiny, the gay community is tinier, once you're out there, people will know, so newbies, beware of what you do when stepping into the scene, there is no way out!

Virgins

2008-11-06T08:04:00.000-08:00

So like 2 weeks ago, in the 1st week of school my classmates and I decided to go to a club. Like most of them are clubbing virgins, sadness right? But they recently turned 18 or something (Don't ask me how old am I) so it's time to loosen up and get wild. So we decided to go to a club which I have not been to, and I know why I have not been there, cos it's kinda lame, only when I am so tired they started playing all my songs and I was like f it....

It was great, we ended up with 2 or 3 drunks, all of them were guys. Oh yeah, there were 4 guys and 4 girls.... I wasn't drunk :)

So it was great and stuff and we danced and the guys were sitting at 1 corner and stuff, I was dancing as usual, that is why I go to clubs!

Oh! The alcohol in this club is REALLY cheap, it's like 200%-300% cheaper than the place that I always go to. The name of this club is called dbl O.

While in the club, E called me, we spoke bout so many things......

So after clubbing, we went to Mc Doodles, I mean Donald's.... The drunks almost picked a fight with a bitch from another club cos well she was pretty darn bitchy but I was buying stuff so I could not see the drama.....

All in all, some of us were traumatised, bored to death, having body aches from obsessive dancing, molested, etc. I would say it was an eventful night.

So back to Tabs, Play or AttiQa this Friday and Sturday, if I have the mood..........

Back To Schol, 3 Weeks Ago

2008-11-06T07:46:00.000-08:00

So school started like ages ago and I am a little busy to write something in here cos I have been watching the reruns of Project Runway Season cos Christian Siriano makes me laugh and he is cute. Well the season has lots of hotties too. Ok anyways....

So school started, new subjects, new lecturers, new tutors but same ol' bitches....

Well I was in the lab for my tutorials, apparently it is an e-learning subject but we have 2 hours compulsory in the lab... Boring. To get like participation marks, we need to write some stuff in the forum regarding the week's online lecture or answer or both. I was so tired and irritated by the teacher cos no one could ever understand a word he says, he's speaking in an excessive amount of Singlish and pronouncation was "fabulous".... So I talked to my classmate bout writing a question and I just said out loud, why don't I post a question asking "Who is the biggest bitch in our class?" It would be so cool. Guess what their answer was? You so don't wanna know....

So another thing, I have found my replacement for Barney. Now I see him twice every week. He is my tutor and he is nice and I like his way of teaching.

I felt insulted last week, very by my management and financial accounting(MAF) (Ugh I'm gonna go crazy of barfness) lecturer/tutor. I spoke to her and stuff and she asked me, "Are you a foreigner?" (Well in my way of interpreting it) I said yeah and she continued by asking, "Where are you from?" So I said Penang, Malaysia. Guess what question came next? She asked "Do you understand my lessons? Cos it's in English. Do you understand English?" I was stunned at that particular moment, so my answer was just yes it is not a problem for me. Then I walked out like a zombie. I was shocked so that was why my answer was brief. I told it to my classmates and they were like laughing. I should have just said to her, "So what have I been speaking all this while?" She is the 1st person who asked me that question, I am insulted...... Which reminds me, I have MAF tomorrow, ugh.

What else happened? Oh, drunk bitches!

No Stranger

2008-10-05T12:26:00.000-07:00

I was in Queensbay Mall today to meet some friends. It was nice meeting them as I have not met one of them for a long time and we click really well, like duh!

I was thirsty, so I needed a bottle or water. We went to the basement to get my bottle of water. I was furious cos the line is so long, I was like thinking why don't I walk pass the cashier and just put my money there, they can keep the change....

As I was lining up at the express counter, some fella had to push his cart pass my path and I was like ok..... Guess who cos behind the shopping cart pushing guy? I have never ever thought bout it but it was E!

Well I did not notice him cos I was like looking at my shoes or somewhere but something caught my attention cos I can feel this guy is walking towards me. E was like smiling and saying hi, I am shocked.

Why would E be in Penang? Well it clears everything cos it's the holidays and guess what? He came back to get some songs, I'm like yeah rite..... Lame excuse.

I dunno he gives me this vibes that he looks very happy to see me and stuff and we talked and I dunno..... I did not yearn for him or even think bout him but I was curious... I checked out and my friends were telling me, that guy is so into you, I was like whatever, I know him already and I know what he did. Maybe it was just to make me jealous? Cos he called and explain stuff.... Ish!

So anyways at this time he is already on the way back to Singapore.... Oh he took his key so I am not suppose to take it anymore and erm he is taking the bus so I would guess that he is halfway there...

His last sentence to me was, please call me when you get back to Singapore........

I am so curious that when I was on the escalator, I kept on staring at him.

What is happening?

New Character

2008-10-01T12:15:00.000-07:00

I have a new character now, he is J.

How do I describe him? Hmmmm

Well he is nice and good and British-crazy guy

Just in case you are wondering, no we are not dating, we are friends, non sexual and close friends :)

Anymore information?

A Lovely Celebration

2008-10-01T12:04:00.000-07:00

It's Hari Raya today :)

I like all these festivals cos I know I will get something out of it (Kidding!). Well I love it cos I get to see kids playing around and we get to eat nice food and wear nice clothes or see people wear nice clothes, blah blah blah blah!

Ok anyways today is Hari Raya! I am so excited, I dunno why but I have nothing to write, mainly cos I am kinda sad too.....

I followed my parents to visit their friends for Hari Raya, I was sad cos as I was on the way there, I saw houses submerged in water. It is Hari Raya, give people a chance to celebrate. When I saw the sad faces of the people in the house, I feel sad and down.

My family being typical, started to talk bout how great it is to see all races living in harmony with their friends, which by this time probably bores me cos I talk bout it almost everyday..... But 1 thing is true, all of us agree that we can live in harmony, if people can't, force them to cross breed! Ha! Easy as that, then they WILL have to accept and live with it.....

Anyways things aside, it's 1st of Syawal, which means it's the new year for the Muslim calender, before that was Ramadhan, the fasting month where everyone fast from dawn till dusk and abstain from any sinful activities, which means not being naughty, kinda hard isn't it? Well maybe for me, heh....

I have a feeling that this year, everyone is wearing purple, last year was green or something. I love the attires that everyone is in, baju melayu, baju kurung, baju kebaya, etc. They look so nice, I just want to steal it (Evil thoughts!) It makes me happy and proud that we have this culture, it's lovely, lively and happy.

Go out, try a new culture today

Scandal-us 18SX

2008-09-29T10:11:00.000-07:00

Ok if you can't take gay stuff or scandals or too critical bout this, DON'T read this post, it might just not be your thing.

Ok well I wanted to write this a very long time ago, it happened before I flew home, Penang.

Did I mention anything bout having a crush or more like lusting bout a particular guy from Penang who is now in Singapore? Ok whatever

Well ok I followed a couple of friends to a market called Pasar Ramadan cos they wanted to shop AND break fast over there. So while I was there I got to know this guy. He is so cute and hot and sense a liking towards him. Anyways! I spoke to him and he told me he is from Penang! I was like I am from Penang too! He said really? I thought you're from Vietnam or somewhere (ARGH!) So I said yeah and we started talking. He was very touchy, VERY! And guess what? I am turned on, normally I will get disguisted....

So after all the walking and stuff, he wanted to go to this club. I was so tired but I said I will meet him there. I was there and they had some show, drag queen shit and I was finding for him. There was this hot guy totally looking at me and if at any other time I would just go over and say hi but this time I was busy searching for the Penang guy, E. So I kept on searching for E and shit and was already pissed!

The music started, me with no alcohol, nobody to dance with just danced and then I saw him, flirting with some quite old looking guy! I was pissed, I walked over and touched him and he saw me and he smiled and we talked, he pushed his friend aside.

After talking we danced but he was dancing with this guy ok let's name this guy John..... He was dancing with John! And stuff, I dunno if he was trying to make me jealous. Then E's friend came, I forgot his name, he winked at me but I was too say disappointed in E to acknowledge anything. E walked away with John. E's friend followed, by that time I was too into dancing my disappointment out.

E's friend came back to me, he is hot but not my type. We danced and he got closer and closer and CLOSER. He was holding me, touching me all over. He tried to put his hands into my pants, that time I stopped him and whipered to him, no way it's gonna happen. He took it and he started kissing me, E saw it.

I kissed E's friend and I can see E was jealous, it's working. Ok let's give E's friend a name, say Pirate. So Pirate was totally enjoying the kiss while I was just dreading to kiss.... He tasted like beer and ashtray... Pfui!

So yeah we kissed like crazy and he was violent! He bit me and was like whispering sexual words to me, I was just over there dancing and pretending to be enjoying it while making E jealous. So I was too bored of Pirate and I went to the toilet to check if Pirate left any marks on my neck or stuff, none....Good

So when I went back, I got myself a shot of vodka and tequila, no effect, must be single shot this time. So I went back to the dance floor and E was dancing with John, useless! But he grabbed my hand and my crotch.... So typical... Anyways we danced with John and E was so totally slutting with John, and E came over to me and whispered, don't stare into the lights, they might blind you. I said thanks... I went to the side and they went to the side. So there was this song playing, something bout something and this sentence came to my mind, dance the sadness away. I closed my eyes and danced like there's no tomorrow....

Then I was bored cos at this time the crowd is leaving and only lovers or people who had found their shags leave behind. Pirate was still there.... Oh before that I was dancing on stage, everyone was looking and winking and smiling at me... I know I could be a whore sometimes... But Jason Lucas was there, ARGH that show off guy! Well Jason Lucas... It's a long story.......

So where was I? Oh yeah! Erm I walked to the back portion of the dance floor where there is much more space... I saw a guy which I know, I said hi.... He was like, so late? I told him, you're late, I have been here since 0030... He was flirting with this guy... I dun care, I danced and then Farouk camed, OMG we were so happy and we hugged and said hi and stuff and we danced a little, some of our friends, sorta came. We were crossed at me cos I was not at the bar before going to the club, well I did not tell them my agenda so I just said I came late and thought I should just go to the club....

So I danced a little and I left, I searched for E but I found Pirate and he kissed me and shit and he told me he has a partner, I was thinking great! And guess who's the partner? THE DRAG QUEEN who performed that night, the drag queen seriously did the operation for the boobs. I was like ok....

I do not know how many times Pirate kissed me or tried to... E was obviously jealous cos he wants to go home with Pirate as he does not have a place to stay. E is staying in a hostel....

So anyways!!! When I left, E looked so sad, and he said are you sure you wanna leave, I said yeah, what's left to stay? He was saying do you not wanna stay any longer? Well I said I am kind of tired and I wanna go home, you enjoy yourself with that guy and he was like, do you wanna go with me later? Haha I am so over it by then I just say, nah you enjoy yourself, I came searching for you but you were busy so I am bored of games. His eyes teary, I walked away....

The next morning or rather afternoon he smsed saying he did not follow pirate home and he stayed in the cyber cafe until he is able to enter his hostel. I asked why, he said Pirate was sad and drunk. Well I think I know why, before I left Pirate told me that he would like to go home with me, well obviously I did not for 2 reasons, he is not my type and he stays with his mom!

So I smiled to myself and went for lunch, E was depressed cos he told me that I did not follow him and he wanted me to accompany him, well too bad darling, maybe next time when I do not have to play games with you......

So after that he called..... The following day I left with E wanting me to do something for him in Penang, get his luguage keys cos he can't open the lock on his bag without the keys.... Well I am gonna take the key for him but I ain't no delivery boy, I am just doing a favour.....

John who was so clearly horny got dumped or maybe E gave him a blowjob in the restroom, who cares? Pirate was just put into a taxi and sent home, what a dramatic night......

I might have missed out some details cos I am too tired to type out everything, any questions, just write in, I'll reply....

ISH!

2008-09-29T10:07:00.001-07:00

Some bitch stole my newly ordered t shirts from threadless, this is the 2nd time! Whoever who stole it from my letter box or mailbox, give it back! Go get your own threadless t shirts!

They Left

2008-09-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

Most of my close or good friends are now away from the country, they are mostly not within the radius of 4 hours by flight. It is depressing. I left 1st cos she left like so damn fast, then erm N left, then G then S then F, did I forget to mention anyone? I dunno they left and now it seems so boring and empty over here.

It is not fair :(

S leaving such a surprise. He did not tell me, only the day before he's bout to fly. What a friend right?

This is a rant

Salzburg, Austria

2008-09-27T10:48:00.000-07:00

On the way to city centre
The garden, it's kinda cute
Salzburg Central Station
The Church in the city, I don't remember the name
The house which Mozart was born in
A view from the castle on the mountains
This wood painting is just cute so I have to put it here

Travel Plans?

2008-09-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well it is unconfirmed, but I have booked some tickets, sort some things up.

Sorry to those whom I told that I will be going back to Europe, it is not happening at least in March/April cos I found more interesting places to visit AND not to mention challenging.... Oh it's a backpacking trip!! So excited.

I am going to Kuala Lumpur, Vientiane, Hanoi, Ho Chin Minh, Bangkok and another Thai city, I dunno yet, I would love to go to the beach....

I am really really looking forward to this trip cos I always wanted to visit those places!!!

I will be gone from erm late March till 18th April I think.

I have not booked a return flight, BUT I have booked the flight to Vientiane, cos that's the city that I am most excited bout!

I planned everything by myself and I think I might be travelling alone, who cares? Right? BUT I'd love to have someone to follow me.....

Uh Raya is near :) I can so feel it

Class Chalet?

2008-09-24T11:25:00.000-07:00

Before leaving Singapore, I had a class chalet, you little twerps!

I am angry! So freaking angry. You (classmates) dare to say that I drank so freaking much and asked if I was ok? Excuse mehhh??? I drank one of the most and I was sober, I cleaned up all of your vomits. Have to deal with bloody drunks AND have to wear your clothes for u guys cos the girls were freaking out seeing you baboons running around naked or semi naked, crawling around like insects and hugging every single thing.

A friendly advice: If you can't drink, don't!!!! Don't go say that I drank the vodka and 5 cans of beer and chase after me for finishing the alco, cos I know I can drink and I control myself and I did not want more drunk people in the chalet. Red does not equals to drunk. Fuck! Ooops did I just say fuck? Who cares???

Uhh while those turds were being drunk, me and the girls went to McDonalds, I had this mud pie thingy, OMG it's greater than great at that time, chocolate orgasm....

I wanted to bash those people up, I'm a drunk basher! Argh!!! Cleaning up a drunk's puke is smellier than changing baby's diapers! Shi Wei u owe me one! Nicholas as well, I saved your relationship with that girl, whoever it is! Jarrold! Jashawn! U drunk asses!!! Argh

I left in dawn cos I could not stand it anymore, I cleaned the house and vomit, make tea, bring food and shit so I am fucking off before the sun rises and I could see u guys having this after I-am-so-fucking-drunk state.

Rant over, bitches! See u in next semester when u guys are more sober.

Driving School!

2008-09-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

Ok I have been postponing my driving lesson for like almost 2 years cos I do not like driving in Penang AND I was hoping for good public transport (like it's gonna be THAT soon!)

Driving school is bad well but I think it's ok except for the on the road thingy, it's not nice when you have a ass bitching instructor who thinks he is so darn smart. One morn he came like 30 mins early and I told him I just woke up, he nagged like some whatever...... I'm like WTF you said 10.30 and guess what he told me? Even aeroplanes can have delays, I said I know and he was like u know and blah blah blah, then I told him aeroplanes are part of my studies as well and he was like now you're so smart eh? I just shut up cos I am not in the mood to quarrel with my instructor. I'm like what does aeroplanes being delayed have to do with you coming early? And yesterday you were late and u screamed and me just because I asked where u were as I waited for you in some forest aka Bukit Minyak for almost 45 mins! Sucha mother freaker.....

I had my 1st accident! And it was not my fault, how can you overtake me at A junction AND that freaker did not stop! Ha! So it was not my fault and my instructor told me.

So I am doing some intensive thingy cos I am gonna leave Penang in a few weeks time. But I have break for a few days which means I do not have to see him..... I am wondering, should I complain? Better not, this is Penang, that freaker is gonna get back to me if I complained, I already complained that he was late and he humiliate me in public! Luckily I was in a good mood or else he would kiss his soul good bye and I mean it!

Did I say that he told me he is or was English-educated? He said once that I know you're from a Chinese school and you might not know this in English..... My mind was like OH MY FREAKING GOD you did not just say that biatch! He refuse to speak to me in English and he mixes A LOT he speaks the Penang dialect which is fine by me and he was like saying don't you go to school and shit? I am like I do I am just having holidays. What's up with him??? Jealous or something? I spoke English to him and he refuses to speak English to me, so I am wondering if HE could speak proper English. I am not from some racist breeding vernacular school k, kiss my steering wheel.....

PS: I did come out with this statement that vernacular school breeds racism BUT all vernacular school students whom I know agress with moi so shut the freak up just in case....

Back Home

2008-09-24T11:10:00.000-07:00

I have been back home for like say 2 weeks, have been having driving school, sent a friend off and tomorrow another friend is leaving, everyone is so smart that they are going overseas to study :( Which is actually a good thing!

Being home is great so far I guess..... I turned 20 and guess what? My family forgot bout it... So typical, even my friends remember it. The verdict? We had lunch and my parents and I went to Queensbay Mall and we waiting for this darn bus for like almost 3 hours just to go home. My dad can't drive cos he just got his eye operation.....

Went out a little and stuff, I dunno what to say but I have other stories....

Scary Berry

2008-09-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

Ok seriously, I have been keeping track and reading lots and really lots of stuff about North Korea. I read and watch videos and stuff about them. If I could, I'll wanna safe all the North Koreans out of that Prison Country(as I call it)

Life is horrible there and you're practically nothing, life is worthless. Doesn't Kim Jong-il feel for the people? Why can't someone just assassinate him?

I've watch a video footage of North Koreans who ran away from their country to seek asylum, some were lucky and some weren't very lucky. I was wonder why does China not accept those asylum seekers. Do you think that they would be happy fleeing the country that they were born in? I don't think so. Everyone loves their home country somehow or the other, it's just that due to some shitty circumstances, they had to flee for their own and family's well being.

I'd really hope that China would open up. I mean they have already like more than a billion people, why not just let those North Koreans seek asylum by sending them to other countries(and I don't mean back to North Korea)?

Just the sight of North Korea's flag gives me the shivers.......

Someone ought to change this, it feels like it's worst than the Nazi period in Germany......

What is happening to this world?

Results!

2008-09-10T14:22:00.000-07:00

I got my exam results today, well I had my exams like 3 weeks ago and I was dead sick! I had asthma, flu and fever, so I was like hoping for the worst but actually, I did quite good. I am shocked myself :) Well was not expecting results to be out today. I woke up at like 15:45 and I saw my mobile, there is was a text from an unknown number saying exam results for 070....I

I am still wondering if I should post my exam results.... Well what the hell!

Logistics and Supply Chain Management: A
Management Science: B
Operations Management: C+
Purchasing Principles and Practices: B
Design in Culture: D (The tutor is one hell of a bitch, seriously he is and he is sorta blind too cos he did not look at the small details properly!)

So well I was happy cos I got a better grade than what I got for my coursework, which means I did well for my papers! Which is shocking cos I am not the kind of person who are able to memorize stuff. Well for my coursework before exams were:

Logistics and Supply Chain Management: A
Management Science: B+
Operations Management: D+
Purchasing Principles and Practices: C+

It's an improvement :)

Who knew a person who rarely studied and not to mention extremely sick did well for his papers. I guess maybe I was paranoid and I wanted to go home to visit my family made me study say maybe 3 hours which, obviously helped :)

I am so relieved. I'll be having a class chalet tomorrow. Kinda looking forward to it.

Toodles

From Asia to Europe

2008-09-05T13:10:00.000-07:00

Changi Beach, Singapore

Fountain of Wealth, Singapore

Danube River, Salzburg, Austria

Hannover Central Station, Hannover, Germany

Disclaimer:
All photos in my blog are taken by me, I am not a professional photographer so take it or leave it.

Quotes

2008-09-03T13:03:00.000-07:00

It only takes a second to say "I love you" but a lifetime to show it

l'amour est peut être la phase plus difficile dans la vie (Love is perhaps the most difficult part of life)

Sexual attraction is cheap, commonplace and it doesn't last

Friends come and go but good friends stay with you forever

Can't Wait

2008-09-02T12:18:00.000-07:00

If there is one show that I can't wait to see in the cinemas is Mamma Mia! I love the trailer so much and the singing thingy, it amazes me and I can't stop singing those ABBA songs now, addicted to them.

My favourite songs so far in this movie are Lay All Your Love On Me. Here's the Mamma Mia version and Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! and also! Winner Takes It All

Movie Review: Wall E

2008-09-02T12:13:00.000-07:00

Well I went to a last minute movie thingy and I decided to watch Wall E with my friend. It was ok. I like Eve a lot, so my kind of robot.

Wall E is a robot that is created to clear up the mass that is left on Earth while most of the humans are in a spaceship in another galaxy.... Humans got so obese that they would not even get up by themselves. So Eve was sent to Earth to search some life thingy or some key and Wall E fell in love with her.

I would give it an OK, not that spectacular but it gives you something to think about cos the Earth is like sort of dying now, maybe in future we'd be like that. Maybe there's a hidden message like save the Earth or something.

You could watch it if you want to but I'll just say go watch it cos it's cute, funny and also touching. So get your movie tickets now!

Movie Review: Money Not Enough 2

2008-09-01T11:03:00.000-07:00

This is a local Singaporean production. I think this movie is really good as it shows the current issues that people are facing in Singapore and to some in Malaysia...

It was suppose to be a funny film or something, I think I have watched the 1st episode but I am unsure if I did or if I could recall it.

It is in Chinese and also a Chinese dialect called Hokkien, which is spoken in several parts of Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan and Indonesia. But it varies as Singaporean Hokkien is different from the Hokkien in Penang and stuff....

This movie is bout 3 brothers rushing to get rich and at the end they fall to their low and realises that what is really important to them. Meanwhile their mother are sort of getting a little bit senile or perhaps just testing them but how much they love her. It is really sad and I cried, like cried cried and I dun normally cry in films, this is the 3rd movie that actually made me cry so yeah.

Here's the trailer
Not really a good trailer but trust me, the show is touching

A quote from the song about the mother:

You dotted their lives and you love them unconditionally but look where are you lying now? You seem to be unimportant to them and you treated you like trash (not 100% accurate but I tried my best)

What is our society going into? I guess it is really all about the money.

Mr K aka my ex told me once, his goals is to collect as much money as possible cos he wants to live the high life....... Well you know what? Money isn't gonna remember you or appreciate you, loved ones are.