The 1st day you met me I thought things would not happen, we met each other more often and by the time we are together you have to leave the country due to your work.
I promised you I would wait for you no matter how long it will take. Our 3 months together is coming soon and it is only 98 more days until we meet each other.
I was looking forward to meeting you and picking you up in Bangkok, whatever it takes.
You came online today and broke my heart. You have to marry a girl due to your religion and culture. The marriage is not now but in about 5 years time.
You said you had no choice, everyone has a choice and I said no one can be perfect, you said you are trying to be perfect. Marrying a woman and denying yourself is not perfect.
You told me and cried on the phone last time when you were in Cape Town telling me you missed me so much and love me so much and hope that I would stay with you and continue waiting. I waited patiently.
Every second I think about you and I dream of you. I send you smses greeting you in the morning your time to let you know the distance is not gonna affect anything.
You just sent me a sms telling me that you do not deserve me cos my love for you is so pure and I should find another guy.
How can I find another guy when you are the one I love? You told me you can't have a gay relationship cos you're a bi. I am willing to accept you for who you are, and u told me u are trying to be normal or at least bi.
My question is, would you be happy with that? I cried my heart out for hours since your call. You just hang up. Being 'normal' does not make you happier.
Just because your culture tells you you have to marry a girl that you parents choose for you and you have to fulfill your religion by spreading the seeds? What a bunch of bullock!
If you have loved me the way you use to, things would happen but now you are suppressing your love and I keep on telling you I want you back although a lot of people think that I am dumb to say that cos they say you are just a waste of my time and money.
Yeah I have to admit I spent a lot of money on your by booking your hotels when you travel sometimes but I did that out of love and nothing else.
I have loved you in the past, I still love you now and I will continue loving you in the future. You chose your path and it is time for me to pick up the pieces and painfully move along. I love you, Nash and I miss you so much...... if only the life that you chose was not so complicated. Everyone has a choice.
When I asked you do you love me, you did not want to answer but broke to tears. Shouldn't I be the one who is so damn sad? I waited for you and gave you everything. I go to the temple which you brought me every week to ask the God to bless our relationship. You are unbelievable. It's only 97 more days
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