I watched the finals yesterday. It was depressing but it was a great environment. Everyone from different countries and stuff. I drank and drank and drank, not remembering that I did not eat anything during or before that. So I got kinda drunk and I was in the train, then I realised that I had motion sickness and I ran out the next station and vomited. Was kinda lucky that Marc was with me cos or not I would have threw up on the floor. But at least it gives me some short term happiness and forgot that I was all lonely inside.....
I have been thinking bout James the whole day, I think I might be addicted.
Marc and Hao had another quarrel again and I am starting to get depressed that I would always help people with their relationship and when they are back together and stuff they look so happy and everything while I am here lonely and waiting for love to come. But it's just life isn't it? The good person never wins.... Marc told me yesterday that I deserve someone who is good and stuff. He hopes I find love soon. I hope I would find love soon too. I do not know why but sometimes the loneliness in the soul kills.
I have never wanted anything more, I tried to give everything. But I think as my dad has always told me, giving is better than receiving. I would love to receive some love that I've given........
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