Insane to the Membrane

Ok I know I think too much. My friends tell me that, my old friends tell me that, my parents tell me that, my siblings, even my lover hinted to me. Am I insane? I feel I am an obsessive person. If I were to have another me and am in love with me, I would kill that fella or would think that person is insane. I need to loosen up and seriously in desperate need to de-stress.

My significant other was kinda cold to me yesterday, bad day I guess and I got so sensitive and stuff. Thanks Gary for opening my mind. It's raining again and I am wondering if I should play in the rain. I know it would make me happy and sick at the same time.

I still remember the 1st time I wanted to tell him something which is unimportant to me and I said I'll tell you some other day cos he has to leave the office. He told me he is not gonna leave until I tell him cos he would not be able to sleep. It makes me feel very happy. Maybe the distance is bringing us apart. I hope not. I need to give him some space, definitely and seriously.

Why am I so needy? Why am I so obsessive? I need to loosen up.

I have been listening to Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol and there is one like I think that it's quite significant to me, "Those 3 words are said too much" I guess so too. He says that like not very often and I think when he says that once in a while the effect would be stronger and better. He says that like once or twice a week. Well beginning of this week when I called him we had a great conversation. He did say he loves me and stuff. Maybe to him it is not meant to be said so often. I think it is ok now. Wrote me 2 emails yesterday actually and he said he misses me very very much and he was so busy during the whole week and he can't wait to hold me again. I think that is enough for me cos at least he thinks bout me and tells me nice things and he meant it. So what am I feeling so insecure and obsessed about?

I know I complain a lot about everything and bitch bout lots of things. But I am not an asshole. I just need to talk and tell it out cos that makes me feel better every time.

I am feeling better now. The days still continues, 139 more days, can't wait. I love him